Where Did My Dreams Go?: My Prayer on the Coronavirus

Sheltering-in. A new dimension to life. I have not been able to write on my children’s stories at all. I am disjointed, not able to concentrate, jumpy. Feelings of chaos and worry prevail. I want to write. I am a writer. I must have something to say, I tell myself.

And then it happens. I stay up late to bake. I scored some flour and now look for my French Yogurt Cake recipe on my blog, that highlights everything French. I think I have all the ingredients for this. Yes, so in the silence of night, alone in my kitchen, I read and remember. The urge to write my feelings about COVID-19 and my dreams flows easily, as do my tears. I sleep soundly for the first time since sheltering in. Be blessed by my words and prayer:

I feel sad and tears are in my eyes. I had to look up French Yogurt Cake recipe on my blog to bake tonight and while there read all six parts of my trip to France, laughing and remembering the gift of that trip, how I planned to return and marry my promised Francois.

Then the plague. What happens to our dreams you gave us Lord? Were they just for now to give us hope and keep us going in life? What happened to my totally planned tiny house in Washington? My new beginning in Antibes? Having a little girl and a family finally?

And now they say Coronavirus will return. Is this what happens, the world just ends? Will you come on the clouds and take us to Heaven? Will you give us new dreams there?

But then I remember, my dreams would be answered. All of them: You will be my bridegroom and what a marriage feast we will have. You have prepared a new home for me, just waiting. My baby girl, Lynley, is there to finally hold in my arms and be a mother too. Perhaps, I knew this all along, but I didn’t see it clearly until now.

For you are the dream, you tell us many times to put our hope in eternity, and now it may be soon. May I focus on the glory that is too come, and let me be brave in the face of getting there. Amen.

May the God of peace and healing, gather you tenderly in His arms and comfort you during this difficult time.

-Miriam


Eternity in Our Hearts

Colorful Zinnias Ecclesiastes 3:11

He makes all things beautiful in its time….He places eternity in their hearts..
Ecclesiastes 3:11

Yes He does.  Jesus that is.  He is in the business of making all things new.  Including me and you.  We are his precious works in progress, once we accept His free gift of grace.  He forgives our sins.  He places the Holy Spirit into our hearts to restore and renew all our fuzzy places and sinful spaces.  He changes us into the image of Himself.  And to give us hope, He puts eternity in our hearts.
What beautiful Words.  I thought a lot about this Scripture as I painted my next biblical Scripture painting today.  As always, I prayed about what to paint as a subject and what Scripture to go with it.  This time it was the colorful zinnias in a patch at Filoli Gardens.  I was drawn to their colors and sizes and how beautiful they were in the sunshine, with their petals reaching upwards to the sun.  How we will be one day in the glory of the Lord’s brilliance as we step into Heaven.  I imagine His smile of happiness on seeing me will be so bright. And I will radiate happiness and light in my new glorified body. Halleluiah. Just like the zinnias.

Do you ever think about eternity in the day to day struggles and problems of life here on earth?  I have to be honest and admit it is a passing thought now and then but lately I have been thinking of it more,  Maybe its getting older.  Knowing my time and work here on earth is going to come to an end.  Thinking thoughts such as “Lord, I feel I am not making enough impact for the Kingdom here on earth.  It seems I spend so much time waiting on you (!) and so little time leading others to you. Will my life matter in the scope of things?”
And then He whispers this Scripture in my heart….”I make everything beautiful in its time”….and I realized just for today, I used His gift of creativity in me and made a beautiful painting of His creation to bring joy to someone else’s heart.  And my life was made more beautiful for today…and I realized eternity IS in my heart.  I imagine seeing my Nana again and my baby daughter Lynley who did not live past the womb.  I imagine talking to Jesus’ mother Mary, who is my namesake of Miriam, (the Hebrew way to say “Mary” ). I will ask her to tell me what Jesus was like as a little boy, how it felt to be used by the Holy Spirit for a miracle. I imagine what it will be like to live FOREVER in peace with no tears or weight gain!  To have my family all restored, no longer dysfunctional, and not talking to one another.  To have a pure love for my mother and father despite the abuse and shame done to me as a child.

Because that is the kind of God we have.  He cares enough about us and our times of despair and hopelessness to give us the hope of being with HIm in eternity.  Heaven is real.  All it takes is being like a zinnia, turn your face up to the Son, Jesus, and ask Him to come into your hearts and forgive you for your sins.  To be your Lord and Savior.  It really is that simple.  And He will come and give you His Holy Spirit to make you all beautiful in His time…and deposit a little piece of eternity in your heart as a safekeeping and promise.
Please take a moment and share my post/painting by clicking on the “LIKE” button below and share the gift of eternity with your friends….
What do you look forward to most about eternity?  Leave me a reply..

I hope you enjoy my new collage “Colorful Zinnias”.  It is for sale for $100 at my art website.  Just click on ‘my art’ above or go to www.giftsofhisglory.com
Shalom and peace.