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A Miracle in my Heart
Today is Labor Day and like most, I celebrated by going to a local Greek Festival in my hometown of Belmont. I wanted to spend the day with the Lord doing something fun and I love Greek food and music. There were dancers in native costumes, homemade moussaka (eggplant casserole) to die for, art showing the beautiful blue of the Greek Isles and a wild shuttle ride where we all snapped our fingers and sang to Greek music on the way back to the parking lot. But mostly, there was peace in my heart.
Peace in your heart Miriam? What is so different about that? You see on Sunday the Lord did a miracle in my heart. He finally took all the anger, resentment and unforgiveness that was in my heart, over the pain and trauma of my life. In particular these past 12 years since I came home from the mission field, wounded and ill. I had been crying out to Him to help me take the anger I felt all the time when someone hurt me, when I had to protect my wounded heart by pushing them out of my life…with the anger at myself for making the wrong choices on the mission field that led to my being deceived into the occult and terrorized. Of the betrayal of male family members when they sexually abused me as a child. Of my mother’s abandonment and cruelty over the years due to her own pain and illness.
I had become a judgmental, self righteous woman, always pointing out others inappropriate or ‘non Christian’ behavior, in the effort ‘to speak the truth” and hold others accountable. I cried out to the Lord for a new beginning, to start over, but to please take this anger out of my heart.
That Sunday morning at church, we had a communion service. The worship singer sang of God giving us a new start, of coming and holding our hand, asking us to trust Him with our hearts and lives. Tears ran down my cheeks as I told the Lord I so missed how I used to be able to trust Him and hear His voice clearly, how all the years of pain and illness had robbed me of that.
As I closed my eyes, I had a vision of Jesus in a white robe, kneel down besides me and take my hand. He whispered to my heart “Child, I want to give you a new start, a new beginning. Will you take my hand and trust me anew with your life? Can we start over again? As I nodded my head, I felt the Holy Spirit start to do a new work in my heart, I felt the old shackles of anger and pain break off, as if the Lord was doing surgery on my heart. I felt a wave of refreshment and then peace just flooded my heart and body.
The spiritual surgery continued all day as I basked in the peace of his healing. I chose to forgive my family and all those who had hurt me over the years, particularly in ministry, and release them from their debts of sin against me. He taught me through Colossians 3:12-16 to forgive those who hurt and offend you, to put on love, and to be a peacemaker. I had been a conflict maker and now I felt His love fill my heart where all that anger had been.
How will I keep this peace? I asked the Lord. “My grace is sufficient for you” He replied. I understood I was to ask for His grace, his tender compassion, when I needed to forgive someone and He would give me the grace to do this, and subsequently, ‘the peace of Him will guard my heart and mind.”
So today, when I woke, I took Jesus hand in mine and told Him “Lord today I will trust you to take care of me, to lead and guide me with each step I take, and to spend time loving you and people through you today. And I did. And just for today, I was blessed with peace. I got to start all over again.
Do you need to ask the Lord for a new beginning…to find the forgiveness in your heart to set yourself and others free? It’s easy. Ask Him into your heart to take your sin and give you a new eternal life in Him. He is faithful and will do it. After all He is the great Physician and Healer, and Savior of our souls.
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Colossians 3:12-16.
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