Sheltering-in. A new dimension to life. I have not been able to write on my children’s stories at all. I am disjointed, not able to concentrate, jumpy. Feelings of chaos and worry prevail. I want to write. I am a writer. I must have something to say, I tell myself.
And then it happens. I stay up late to bake. I scored some flour and now look for my French Yogurt Cake recipe on my blog, that highlights everything French. I think I have all the ingredients for this. Yes, so in the silence of night, alone in my kitchen, I read and remember. The urge to write my feelings about COVID-19 and my dreams flows easily, as do my tears. I sleep soundly for the first time since sheltering in. Be blessed by my words and prayer:
I feel sad and tears are in my eyes. I had to look up French Yogurt Cake recipe on my blog to bake tonight and while there read all six parts of my trip to France, laughing and remembering the gift of that trip, how I planned to return and marry my promised Francois.
Then the plague. What happens to our dreams you gave us Lord? Were they just for now to give us hope and keep us going in life? What happened to my totally planned tiny house in Washington? My new beginning in Antibes? Having a little girl and a family finally?
But then I remember, my dreams would be answered. All of them: You will be my bridegroom and what a marriage feast we will have. You have prepared a new home for me, just waiting. My baby girl, Lynley, is there to finally hold in my arms and be a mother too. Perhaps, I knew this all along, but I didn’t see it clearly until now.
For you are the dream, you tell us many times to put our hope in eternity, and now it may be soon. May I focus on the glory that is too come, and let me be brave in the face of getting there. Amen.