What do you do when you are so angry you could spit? Tonight, finding myself in this situation, I did three things, I rode my bike (thing #1) under a bright full moon to McDonald’s with my flashing red and white lights warning others to stay away, to get a large diet coke, with lemonade in it. To give you an idea how mad I was, I am not supposed to be drinking diet coke but I didn’t care. To heck with it, I thought.
As I arrived I was greeted by one of the workers, a young African American man, whom I had met before and had given him my card as he was interested in my website and blog. He greeted me warmly,
“Hi, I read your ENTIRE blog and I now know your entire life..how you stole cookie dough out of the refrigerator as a child, all your trips to Israel, and by the way, were you scared when you went there?” he asked me.
I laughed in unbelief to hear such a good report on my blog. “No I wasn’t scared, I was fearless back then in my 30s, now in my 50s, it is another story” I exclaimed. “What did you learn about Jesus from my blog” I asked him expectantly.
“That Jesus is the one and only Savior…I knew that already but your blog makes it real clear”.
The smile on my face was huge as I digested this news. I asked him if he had ever made it to my church. He said he hadn’t been able to yet and asked me to write the name and address down. Fumbling through my purse, I found an old receipt and borrowed a pen from the night manager.
‘I need to get some Sundays off, as I have to work Sunday afternoons” he said.
“We have an early service at 8:30am” I replied.
“You do, where is the church?” he asked me in return.
As it turns out he lives a few blocks away and can ride his bike. Amazed how God can arrange a divine appointment in the middle of the night when I am in a foul mood, I had to laugh as I biked away with my drink.
The scripture from Psalm 4:4 “Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your own hearts on your beds, and be silent” went through my mind as I contemplated sending another email to the person I was angry at. It involved not being able to show my art at an important function I was hoping for. Disappointment, hurt and anger fed my soul.
Indignant thoughts ran through my mind “How can they not bless my art ministry as I am a MEMBER there?” I implored of the Lord. “And they told me not to take it personally and I am an ARTIST, of course I will take it personally,” I screamed. Crying in frustration I sobbed, “Lord how am I going to raise money for the poor girls in sexual slavery all over the world if you won’t open doors for me? I try so hard, and yet so many people really don’t care about helping these poor girls who are raped 20 times a night, day in and day out, who die from the horror of it or from internal bleeding as they are too young to be raped” I lamented. “And to top it off, I am overdue on writing my blog and have nothing to say.” Sniff, sniff.
When I got home, I felt better, but soon the hurt filled my heart again. I played on Pinterest for an hour (thing #2), pinning all kinds of comfort foods that I wished I could eat right then and there, but had to settle for salivating over them and printing up the recipes, promising to try them tomorrow. “Amish church noodles” and “Southern chicken and dumplings” made the list. I had tasted the yummy Amish noodle dish on my last trip to Lancaster, Pennsylvania, two years ago and fell in love with it. I had been blessed to eat the chicken and dumplings at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville, Tennessee, during a trade show I was working way back in my corporate life in my early 30s. And yet I still remembered it fondly. Time to eat them again.
I decided not to send another email as I could see that was exactly what the Enemy wanted me to do and destroy a relationship. I prayed very quickly the scripture “My grace is sufficient for thee” (2 Corinthians 12:9 ) asking the Lord to give me the grace to not take action. This is a new thing for me to do, when I am angry or offended and need to forgive someone. And each time I ask the Lord for His grace, He miraculously gives it to me.
Finally, it being midnight now, I felt I needed to write out my feelings so I started writing this blog post (thing #3), having no idea where it would go. As I typed, my anger dissipated as I laughed out loud at the absurdity of my situation, as I could clearly see God’s hand and salvation as the night wore on. I realized it is painful at times when He says “NO” to a door opening. Yet I see His blessing as I had been recently telling Him, and all my friends, how frustrated I was not knowing who was reading my blog or how it was affecting my readers. I get very few replies, most being spam. And then I walk into McDonald’s in the middle of my funk and He rewards me with personal feedback by an enthused reader. What are the odds?
HUGE SIGH: I am feeling better now, as writing always has a soothing effect on my soul and I believe I shared some important things tonight about anger, God’s grace and unexpected blessings. I hope you will take these away and remember them the next time you are so angry you could spit!
PS My heart turns to praise as the Lord reminds me that I have on average 9000 views per month. He has given me a ministry of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ to the entire world through my blog. Now that is something to be thankful for!
Please do leave me a reply below…it means a lot for me to hear from you and how you have been touched by my blog…
To see my Scripture art, click here or on the ‘My art” tab above. Consider purchasing a painting as 50% goes to rescuing girls in sexual slavery and abuse around the world. And they make lovely gifts for the upcoming holidays….I ship anywhere in the US or worldwide.
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